Yes, you got it right. There are things you should not apologize for because they are your personal choice.
How often do we hear others commenting on our choices? Family members, friends, and sometimes complete strangers pretend they know what is better for us. How we should behave, dress, communicate, and build relationships. These people sometimes even want us to explain our personal life choice.
A popular psychologist and blogger David William believes that you don’t owe to explain the following 15 issues.
15 things you always keep to yourself
Your life situation
Are you cohabiting with your ex? Are you constantly changing the flats you rent? Are you living with your parents at this age? Calm down, you have a right not to comment on why you are doing it the way it is. If you completely control your life, it means that you have your personal reasons to keep things the way they are. It’s nobody’s but your own business.
You have your own opinions on how to make yourself and your close people feel comfortable and happy – this is your top priority. As all people are unique with definite values, dreams, and aspirations, no wonder that our priorities differ. It is your choice to define yours, so you don’t have to give an account for them.
Never say “Sorry” if you don’t feel that
If you don’t regret your actions or continue thinking that a person was wrong but you don’t need being excused, do not say sorry. Many people try to apologize too quickly just to heal the wounds which are not ready for such “healing” yet. It may only make a situation worse. If you don’t feel guilty, you really don’t need to apologize.
Time spent alone
Many people fear becoming “rude,” “anti-social,” “arrogant” if they cancel plans or reject some invitations because they need some private space and time to spend alone, just to relax or simply enjoy a nice book. As a matter of fact, we really need such time-outs. As researches prove, people tend to feel better just after 20-30 minutes of solitude. So, make use of being alone and forget about any remorse of consciousness.
You don’t have to accept others’ personal beliefs
If a person passionately tells about their beliefs, you shouldn’t sit and nod approvingly to win their affection. If you don’t share their ideas, it is unfair towards yourself and others to pretend you accept their opinion. It is better to calmly object to them than store up disapproval and disappointment.
You are not obliged to say “Yes”
You have a natural right to say “No” if there are no sufficient reasons to agree. Successful people usually reject everything that is not their priority, that’s their secret weapon. Admit other people’s kindness, be grateful, but have enough courage to say “No” to things that draw your attention away from main goals.
You can be slim or plump, tall or average height, attractive or ordinary, but you don’t have to explain to anybody why you look that way. Your appearance concerns only you, in this respect, you owe exclusively yourself. Never let appearance influence your self-esteem.
Your food preferences
Sure, there are products and dishes you like or dislike for various reasons – from taste qualities up to their influence on our health. If somebody is too nosy to find out why you eat or avoid definite products, disregard it and tell that you feel fine eating the food you choose
If your close relationship with an adult person is based on mutual agreement, nobody should care about the details of your intimate life. You can prepare to get married, have temporary connections, or even experiment with people of the same sex until you get satisfaction from it. It is your personal choice.
Career or personal choice
Sometimes life makes us choose between work and private life. This decision is typically hard to make, and you can choose a career path not because you don’t care about your family but because you will feel safe in the future. This question is especially acute for women who are torn between social and private life. “How can she choose professional growth if she has two kids to look after?” Or “All she can do is cook, clean up, and look after kids. Let her husband make money.”
In any case, you don’t need to explain to your surrounding why you’ve made a definite choice once you are sure everything is going fine.
Your political or religious beliefs
Be you a Catholic, Muslim, a republican or democrat – what changes? It is your choice and you do not have to explain your values. If somebody cannot accept you as you are, it is their problem, definitely not yours.
Your being single
Your family status matters to you only. You are free to choose the type of relationship you feel most comfortable in. Some people are not suitable for creating a family at all. Just remember that the image of yourself has nothing to do with your marital status. Do not label yourself and others with socially “correct” notions.
You don’t have to meet somebody just because they ask you
A person may be very sweet and cute, but you are not obliged to meet him/her personally. If deep inside you feel you don’t need this meeting, do not go there. Find a reason to reject and stick to your decision.
Your marital decision
You have a right to choose either you want to marry and have children or remain a single child-free person. Even if your mother is dreaming about grandchildren, she has to accept your choice, no matter how difficult it may be.
Your relationship choices
How often can we hear phrases like “You are too different to be together” or “What a strange couple! Look for another partner!” Nevertheless, be reasonable, you are free to live your own life. Never break up or stay in a relationship just because some “kitchen experts” tell you to do so. Make choices, make mistakes, get experience, and move on – that’s what the true life is about.